The greatest asset you can have in life is self-belief. People who handle life well, achieve great things and have stronger belief than the average person. Here are 7 simple steps that will remind you what it takes to have self belief.
1. Do you believe in you?
Self-belief is feeling good enough. It’s the feeling that you can handle what life throws at you. It’s a healthy appreciation of your talents, characteristics and abilities. It’s seeing yourself as special and entirely unique, like no other person on the planet.
Think of it this way: life is a confidence trick. With enough confidence, you can get away with anything. Real confidence is the unshakeable conviction that the world is unfolding to your advantage and that you can handle anything life throws at you, that you’ll always find a way through, because there’s always a way – and you’ll find it. It’s a blend of optimism, charm and energy.
However tough and resilient you think you are right now, there’s always another level to take yourself to. Indestructible self-belief means that whatever happens you have the internal resources to recover fast and fully. You’re tough. The bigger the challenge, the setback or letdown, the more you pull out of yourself. A crisis never leaves you where it finds you because you’re sharper and taller afterwards. You’re awesome, indestructible.
2. What’s your opinion of you?
What do you want to believe about yourself? The truth is you can believe anything you want. Whatever you choose to believe will be true for you in your life, because that’s the view that you’ll feed to. You’ll accumulate evidence to prove your position, because that’s simply what we humans do. We have a need to be right, so whatever we believe, whatever perspective is, we’ll locate the evidence to prove our position. So, it’s best to be clear what you want to be right about, because that will shape your experience of life and your opinion – on you.
3. Take responsibility
So far you’ve been exploring your relationship with you and grasping the critical importance of self-belief. You now know that the most powerful and influential person in your life is you. You are the thinker of your thoughts. You have ultimate responsibility, the final say in defining who you are and how your life is. In particular, you have sole responsibility for choosing your response to any and every situation in your life, past, present and future.
How many times have people told you to look on the bright side? They have a point. Instead of endlessly dwelling on negative images from the past, and reliving moments when things went wrong, change your focus and recall the good times instead. Experience the sense of pleasure which comes from a memory of a wonderful time and your spirits will lift. Regularly counting our blessings, rather than our burdens, has been proven to improve our mood, performance and relationships.
4. Think big
Go beyond what you think you can do. Believe that anything is attainable. Expect the best. Be optimistic. The bigger the challenge, the more you rise to the occasion. In other words, play a bigger game. Who knows what lurks beneath your surface? Do you? Unless you think big enough, you might not.
5. Recover faster
Holding on to your self-belief is easy when things are going well. It’s when the going gets tough that you have to watch out. Handling yourself well in turmoil is vital if you are to live an interesting life. Life will definitely take it out of you. Every one of us will have our fair share of testing, defeats, disappointments, criticism, and even condemnation. No one gets a totally easy life. The question is – how do you handle it?
You need to know how to put yourself back together again. You need to be able to dig deeper into yourself to emerge stronger, clearer and better than ever. Understand: a crisis will never leave you where it finds you. You’ll be weakened or strengthened by it. It’s entirely down to you. It’s not what happens that poses the greatest threat – it’s your interpretation of it. Remember, your greatest ally or most powerful enemy is one and the same person – you.
There’s no one better positioned than you to do maximum damage to yourself. When life is at its toughest, you can turn the gun on yourself – often called shooting yourself in the foot. Or you can rise up to your full powers, get into the right frame of mind and resolve not to be beaten, least of all by yourself. Whether you acknowledge it or not, a crisis always hands you this choice.
6. You’re fabulous
Building and maintaining powerful self belief is a choice. It isn’t something you must be born with. It doesn’t matter how low your levels have been – you can upgrade any time you like. Remember: what you think, you create. First comes your thought about yourself, then follows the outer world of physical manifestation. Perspective – thought – reality. If you don’t think something is possible you won’t take even the first step towards creating it. If your self-belief is shaky, then you’ll falter at the first setback, confirming your strongest beliefs about yourself.
7. Building a successful identity
Handling criticism is something that will test your foundation of self belief and can shake you to your very core. Having a clear and strong foundation of clearly defined self-belief underpinning you will help enormously, but you can still be rocked and unseated by other’s attempts to undermine you. When this happens, take time out to examine the claims and if there is genuine fault on your part, face up to this and make amends. If you’ve made a mess, be big enough and self-assured enough to admit it and clean it up. If you feel you don’t have a case to answer and are being unfairly attacked, defend yourself. Reaffirm who you are and shore up your self-belief so that you can emerge stronger than before. Think of what happens when a healthy immune system has to respond to an outside threat such as germs. This is exactly how you must be. And the more successful, powerful, ambitious or visible you are, the more prone to criticism you will become. Be ready and be prepared to handle what may come your way.
…So what did you think of these 7 steps?
I took all this information out from Fiona Harrold’s book ‘Indestructible Self-Belief: 7 Simple Steps: to getting it and keeping it!’ There’s actually more to this book that will makes you feel like you’re being personally coached, with ‘The work’ section at the end of each chapter as well as many examples and case studies.
Check it out: